Changing time

Why do we insist on messing around with the clocks twice a year? It doesn't give us any more daylight. It doesn't help farmers (they still get up with the sun no matter what the clock says). It doesn't do anything useful at all. It gives me a headache, and it causes a 1 year old to get completely out of sync.

I know that the story is about a man riding on a horse thinking that everyone should be enjoying the daylight, so he proposed moving the clocks. Sounds like rubbish to me. If you want to enjoy more light, get up earlier.

Every year, for as long as I can remember, I've had a headache at the end of March when the government plays around with the clocks and my internal one can't cope. I don't know why 1 hour has such an effect. Personally I think it's a sub-concious issue with mid-day not co-inciding with the sun being at it's highest. Whatever the cause, I always feel a great sense of relief come October when things get back to normal.

I'm finding it doubly difficult this year. As an adult, you can set the clocks the night before, get up the next morning, swear, and then adjust. Babies don't work like that. My daughter wakes with her body clock, needs a certain amount of time before her nap, a certain amount of time before tea and bath, and then bed time. She isn't going to get up an hour earlier, she certainly isn't going to go to bed any earlier. So, we're stuck. For the next how ever long it takes, we're going to have to chip away at her rising, nap, and bed time until we're back where we were before someone decided to mess with the time.

Grr, back to going to work pre dawn.

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Short one

Nothing really grabs me today. End of the week, and my last day as a contractor. Just looking forward to the weekend. A chance to 'relax'. Big week next week. The first in a month always is, but this month has a huge number of changes happening early on which will make things interesting.

My daughter slept through last night. I still had to take her out for a drive to get her to sleep, but I put her in her cot at 20;50 and we didn't hear another thing until 07:15. Bliss. I hope it lasts.

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The need for sleep

There are occasions when I think this blog must be marking one mans slow decline towards madness following limited and disturbed sleep. Then I remember that my wife gets less than I do and start feeling guilty. Then I remember we're both knackered and just feel sorry for us both.

Whether it's seperation anxiety, a growing awareness of the dark, or just the loss of the ability to soothe herself back to sleep, my daughter is not sleeping through. Not even nearly. 3 weeks ago we could get her down for 8 in the evening, and not hear a peep until 8 the next morning. Now, it takes a huge effort to get her down for 9ish (last night it was 21:30 after a drive around Berkshire) and she's up again at around 01:45. What happens then is down to the fates. Placating may be possible. Feeding may be required. Worst case (usual case) is to bring her into bed in the spare room, feed her to sleep, and soothing strokes if she stirs.

In all cases, a broken nights sleep is guaranteed.

My wife is fantastic. During the week, she will be the one who gets up, and retires to the spare room with the distressed little bundle. This allows me to roll over and go back to sleep; stiring at each squeak, but generally getting some rest. At weekends, I do what I can. Fetching, carrying, soothing. I'm not really adding anything, just relieving a little of the burden.

It's now Thursday, of a short week, and I'm tired beyond belief. I have another day of meetings ahead, and somehow I'll get through. I always do. Something kicks in during the commute, keeps me going, and drops off later in the evening. The crash! I'm good for nothing then. Last night I couldn't stand properly; everything needs breaking down into small tasks. I'm surprised me wife doesn't give up on me, but she doesn't. She understands. She's great!

Ever onward. Another day, my penultimate one as a contractor. Just don't tell me "It's just a phase". It doesn't help.

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Reading blogs

Wow! Four day weekend, and a day working from home. No wonder I'm knackered!

Back on the train now, and pondering blog reading. Late last week, one of the blogs I read moved to a redesigned site. Now, I'm sure it is a picture of well designed lovelyness; with css this and ajax that, but all of that is irrelevant to me. I read blogs using an RSS reader, on a blackberry, whilst commuting (underground for half the time). Browsing to a website is a visual nightmare on a blackberry at the best of times; and a technical impossibility underground.

I have a program that connects to the internet at regular intervals, checks all the sites I'm interested in, and downloads the text of any new articles from those sites, storing them for me to read at a later date. I get news and technical information from the usual sources, but the majority of what I read is blogs. Normal people, writing about their stuff.

The problem with feeds is truncation. Most blog sites have 3 options when it comes to packaging your content. The default is usually to send out the post whole. Another option is to send out just the title (useless really). The third is to send out the first paragraph with a link at the bottom to "Read more". This is the one I hate. Just enough text to get you interested, and then bam! A link I can't follow. This is a deal breaker for me.

As someone with a wife, and small baby, and a job that gives me no chance to catch breath; the only place and time I have to read blogs is whilst commuting. Which means the blackberry. Which means RSS only.

So, why do people choose the truncation option? I can understand it for the magazine blogs. The ones from infoworld or the register. RSS feeds get just text. Some pictures (although they don't work underground as they are downloaded at read time), but no ads. So, for blogs that are there to draw in readers in the hope of moving them to other content, and getting a few ad impressions past them I can understand. (The fact that deep linking via google, and ad blocking programs make this method of getting money useless is irrelevant)

However, for personal blogs I don't get it. Surely all you want is for people to read your text? Who cares if I don't see your selection of font, and your beautiful backdrop. I certainly don't. This leads us to where I came in. A blog I have been reading for a long time has had a redesign, and in the process has moved from full posts to truncated ones. I wrote to the blogger pointing out the problem (I've done this twice before and the blogger wasn't even aware of it. In those cases, their new site had given a default of truncate), and was told that it was by design. They believe RSS feeds are there to alert you to a new post which you will then go direct to the website to read. They hoped I would catch up on the post once I got back online, and hoped I would continue to read. Well I can't. My life doesn't allow for blog reading at a computer (it's everything I can do just to get the daily dibert some days!), so their blog has gone. The really annoying part of this is that the blog in question was one of the best; well written, funny, one of the ones I scanned down the list for in the hope that it had updated. And now it's gone. Oh well.

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Why is it so flipping hard to sync?

Ooo a tech post. I haven't done one of these in a while!

It's a bit of a rant actually, but hey, what's new.

I have a blackberry. It's great. All these posts are written on it. I can read rss feed offline. It accesses facebook, google talk, automatically gets my e-mail, and has a calendar and contacts system. And it's these last two I have a problem with. The calendar on the phone is not my main one, the contacts system is not my only one. They can't be. The phone can't deal with meeting invites from various systems, and doesn't have the integration of outlook or gmail / google calendar; and because it's sometimes easier to send mail from a pc, or look up an address, my contacts need to be elsewhere.

My setup cannot be that unique. I have outlook integrated with exchange at work, gmail and google calendar at home, and a blackberry everywhere else. On google I have my calendar shared with my wife, my wife's calendar shared with me, and a personal one to remind me of anniversaries or the need to buy presents. For the purposes of syncing, I'd be happy with just my calendar syncing. On outlook, there is just outlook. I want those meetings available elsewhere.

Blackberry comes with some sync software. Connect your blackberry to a pc, and it will sync the calendar with outlook, and the address book. It's the connect bit I have a problem with. I get up to 10 meeting invites a day (some of them updates, not all new!), and keeping things in sync is a major pain. However, I can live with this.

Syncing to google is another matter. First, I thought I'd try using the blackberry as the "man in the middle". I can already sync with outlook, so all I need to do is get those changes pushed to google. At the same time, pull anything new from google, and next time I sync with outlook, I'd be back in sync.

It doesn't work. I paid real money for some nexthaus software, and an account with goosync, and set everything up (this was after 2 other abbortive attempts with other rubbish software). The software gets all changes from google, and pushes all events from the blackberry IF I created them ON the blackberry. If I sync from outlook, these events are missed unless I initiate a slow sync. Also, if an event is updated to a new time, the old event is not deleted. This is especially fun with recurring events.

Then cames google sync for the blackberry. Finally, I thought, google have stepped up. If anyone can fix this, the guys who own the api must be able to. Nope. Worse problems. Intermittent syncing (if I was not the originator of the meeting it wouldn't sync), and duplications. I tidyed up the system and went back to nexthaus.

Then, a new solution google sync for outlook. I don't have problems syncing with google using nexthaus, just syncing outlook events via the blackberry to google; so if I sync all the outlook events to google, the system will then pull them from google to the blackberry. Great? No. Doesn't work. If the meeting is addressed to me internal username (as all internal meetings are) the program won't sync it because it is looking for my full e-mail address. This begs the question, why? If a meeting is in my calendar, I want it synced. I don't care WHO it is addressed to, it's my calendar, only mine, and I want it synced.

So, I'm stuck. Stuck waiting for one of the tools to get updated and fix the problems. Then, finally, I might know where I'm going, and when, no matter which system I look at.
All of that hasn't even touched on the address book! This one is simpler though. It doesn't work. I can't get either outlook, nor the blackberry, to sync with my google contacts. Useless.

Add into the mix my wife's iPhone. The google calendar interface on that is rubbish. You can't add or change an entry. There still is no way to sync contacts, and the whoe thing is a mess.

Is it really so difficult to have a synced up address book and calendar across a few devices? It's really beyond belief that I can't sync a couple of hand held devices, devices that live and breathe on the net, with a web platform and a desktop system that the majority of the corporate world use.

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What a beautiful morning

So, here I am. On less than a perfect nights sleep (although only broken once for half an hour, it was at 04:55 which just seems to hurt more), and heading in for a day of meetings with some tricky responses to some overnight mails to write. However, isn't it a beautiful day. Not a cloud in the sky, that crisp, fresh feeling in the air, the sun casting its glow over the world. Makes you feel good to be alive. Which is just as well.

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The daddy drive

My daughter is unwell. Thankfully, not seriously unwell. She has an infected finger from over sucking, and badly aimed teeth!

I washed her hand after breakfast, and there was no sign. By 16:00 there was a large yellow lump right in the middle of her favourite suckling finger. This causes major problems.

My daughter soothes herself to sleep by sucking her fingers. Bedtime routine involves a bath, a cuddle, a feed, and a longer cuddle while she drops off enough to be put in her cot. With no fingers, the frustration levels means she doesn't drop off. She also complains bitterly if you put her in the cot awake. The problem is worsened if she wakes during the night. In those twilight moments, she can put her hand in her mouth and drift back to sleep without waking Mummy or Daddy. No hand, no drift.

To say that Saturday was a bad night would be something of an understatement! I had put a makeshift bandage on, and covered her hand with a mitten. She was not happy. We finally got her to sleep at about 01:00 she woke at 01:42! About 04:00 was when we started to try to get to sleep ourselves, but the wired state my wife and I were in meant a delay until the small hours. We were back up before 08:00.

The infection had doubled in size overnight, so, given it was Sunday, we went off to casualty. 3 hours later my daughter had a lanced, dressed and bandaged finger, and a course of antibiotics. (getting antibiotics into someone who can't rationalise the awful colour and taste with feeling better is not a fun experience!) Now all we had to do was get some sleep!

We tried cuddling, soothing, easing her into her cot, but nothing was working. In the end we bundled her into her duvet, and headed for the car.

I've done this before, and it's fairly common knowledge that babies fall asleep in cars. Lulled by the motion. I headed off, M4, M25, M3, and back up to complete the loop. She woke up as soon as the car stopped! She was, however, relaxed now, so a couple of cuddles, and we got her into her cot. Late, but she slept through (guess she was almost as tired as my wife and I).

Yesterday was a failed dental appointment for me, and a new dressing for her. Also, 3 lots of antibiotics. Yuck. (I worked from home hence no post.) Last night, another drive. Another loop. This time via Basingstoke. Another rested baby. Not such a good night though. She woke at 03:42 (it's amazing how you remember the exact time), and there was no rest for us until after 05:00. We've been told to expect a large improvement for Wednesday when the dressing is changed again, and we are hopeful that the finger will be back in action for the weekend. Until then, Daddy will be out driving the wilds of Berkshire every night until she drops off.


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Working from home

No post yesterday because there was no commuting. It took me less than a minute to get to work and start working. I was doing the working from home thing.

The reason behind it all was the need to look after my daughter for an hour at lunch time as my wife needed to go out, and, in this particular instance, taking a baby with her wasn't really an option.

So how does it work? Well, I roll out of bed, pull some jeans on, and sign into works network through the internet. Whilst the external system logs me in and runs its logon scripts I finish getting ready, grab a drink, and enter the study properly. Shutting the door. I now have a version of windows running inside a web browser on my PC. This version of wndows is connected to my work's network, and allows me to appear like I'm just logged on there.

Actually, the system I get access to is to basic to do anything other than chat and e-mail, so I run a further connection program to get access to my personal desktop. This is exactly the same one I use every day at work, left in exactly the state I left it in the previous day. Now it's like being there.

Except it isn't. In the past working from home was much like working from the office except there were fewer interruptions. I worked largely alone, and the privacy, comfortable atmosphere, and instant commute made working from home more productive (in most cases) than working from the office. Now, I have staff, I have meetings, those interruptions are important as they are usually to ask me for a decision. This doesn't mean working from home doesn't work for me anymore. Far from it. Everything that used to make working there a bonus still stands. I got more paperwork done, and filing sorted yesterday than I've managed in weeks. It's just that I couldn't do it every day anymore.

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Why write?

I can't put my finger on it. For some reason I get on the train / tube every morning (ok, only recently) and I tap some words into my blackberry, mail it off, and hopefully someone reads it. Although, that last bit doesn't have any influence over the effort it takes to write in the first place.

For over a year I have travelled on this train reading the news, and generally not doing much. I hope this is a more worthwhile use of my time, but I'm not sure it is.

So, it started last week. I have got incredibly bad at replying to mail. I get so much of it that I can't track it all, and things get forgotten. Except they don't. I have a reasonably good filing system, and that takes care of most of the dross and informational mails, so the ones I need to reply to still sit in my inbox. Hounding me. Taunting me with their unreplyedness. Last week I answered a couple!

It didn't take long, but I did write quite a bit. And I enjoyed it. The chance to put my thoughts in order, to write something down. My life has changed so much in the last couple of years, and so much of what I do is transient. I flit from one thing to another like a humingbird, carrying huge amounts of stuff around in my head, or quickly scribbled notes in my notepad. I move from one agenda to another; each one wanting to know what I'm doing for them. Balancing priorities and deliverables. Somehow it all works; things get done, most of the people I deliver to are happy most of the time. My mind is a mess though.

I've always had the ability to context switch. Order my thoughts, file them, and recall them instantly. Even if I was working on something completely different. Just file, save, recall, go! That ability is being pushed to its limit now. Some things are slipping. The recall is flaky, or partial. I'm learning to cope. To rely on other people to take their bit of responsibility. It's difficult. It's a large change for me. Fixing computers, then servers, or even delivering large tech projects was easy. Finite variables that could be made firm, and delivered to. Life is now shades of grey. Variables stay variable. I can't control everything.

So this blog let's me put something down. To crystalise a thought (although not very well as this post demonstrates!). For the moment, that's enough. A small amount of control in my otherwise uncontrollable day.
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Bloody-mindedness and the British reserve

Another transport tale of woe! My train was delayed today. This is the station that only has one train every 30 minutes, and all those trains were held up due to animals on the line (polite way of saying horse jam). No woe on this score, these things happen; at least we have a nice warm station building to stand out of the elements in. Also, the guy who runs the station is a really nice bloke, who gave us all regular updates from his console and phone calls to control.

One of these updates was to let us know the other company that uses the track was going to stop for us. Usually they shoot through at 50 mph, but today, for the first time anyone can remember, they were going to stop. Hurrah!

Out we all trooped into the cold morning light where we watched the sun peak above the industrial units, and presently the train turned up. Here's where the problems began.

The people who regularly use the train all have their favourite places to stand, their little talking circles, and they weren't happy about interlopers. The doors opened, and there was a corridor of people into the vestibule area, and enough room for 2 people. There were 6 of us, and I knew we'd be stopping at the next station which has the ticket office opposite the door that I was using. This wasn't going to work.

I got on the train, and looked into the carriage itself. There were 2 people standing. Right by the exit. Not showing the slightest inclination to look up, acknowledge the problem, nor move down to create more space. At this point, the crowd shuffled a little, the guy in front of me decided he could stand over his briefcase, and maybe it didn't need a space of its own, and we managed to get on.

The complaining now started. "We can't stop at the next station, how will everyone fit?", "We're going to be stuck waiting for a platform", and then my favourite, "Why do we have to stop to let all these other people on?". Pillocks. I calmly explained that there were no other trains, and we wouldn't be stuck waiting for a platform as there were no other trains, and we couldn't have got anywhere without this train as there were no other trains. The reply? "Hummph"!

Just the we arrived at the next stop. The doors opened. 10 people. Did any of the regulars finally move? Give a little bit of space? Move into the practically empty first class section? Finally move into the aisle of the carriage? Not a hope. It was all just one big inconvienience for them.

Just a little aside, it only takes 9 minutes from my station to the final destination when everyone gets off. We're not talking about a serious issue here!

Finally, myself and the bloke who'd got on behind me snapped. The reserve was broken. He pushed his way into first class, opening that route up, and I pointedly asked the people in the aisle to move up. The response? A raised eyebrow, and a shuffle of maybe 1mm. Twit. I allowed the crush behind me to move me into the aisle forcing the moron to finally move up. Amazingly (note the sarcasm) we all fit. With room to spare. Who'd have thought it!?

Gits.

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On commuting

Where to start? There are so many facets to this topic that I'm sure I'll return to it from time to time. Today, though, it is delays that are top of my mind.

It was a bit windy last night. Today, all the trains are delayed. Anyone see the connection? I was late traveling today, well past the morning rush. Well into the working day. The trains were running, so there weren't blockages. The wind had died down, so there weren't worries of more blockages, and yet my train was 28 minutes late (the trains run every 30 minutes), and when it did arrive, it didn't stop! I had to wait another 10 minutes for the second trains; itself now 8 minutes late.

Once I changed train the departure boards at my interchange were full of delays. However, there are so many trains at that point I just caught a delayed train at the right time! We then set off to London.

The journey to London is not exactly stimulating. Lots of warehouse and industrial type buildings, and not much scenery. So why did they put a 50 mph speed limit on? This speed limit started at my station, all trains were fast until then. There was no wind, nothing to get blown over anyway, the train are diesel, so no problems with overhead wires, so why the speed limit?

Once I hit London, there are sever and minor delays all over the board. Most of thse trains are underground! What exactly causes a weather related delay underground? The staff couldn't give me an answer either.

Every week there is a broken train, or a faulty point, an intermittent signal, and what do we all do? Work around the problem. Try to find other routes. I caught 2 trains I wouldn't usually get to work around the severe delays this morning. I did it automatically. I just switched into avoidance mode and off I went. The fact that I am even more delayed as a result didn't enter the mind. It rarely does.

Resistance is futile? Acceptance is depressing!
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Marking the occasion

Today I turn 30 something for the first time. 30 didn't bother me that much; I was sick of my 20s and ready to move on. 30 something on the other hand, that's tweaking the old sub-conscious.

Part of it, I'm sure, is down to signing away some perceived freedom yesterday, and agreeing to go permanent in my job. I thought it would be a bit of a gesture. An end of era moment. It was. Doesn't change the fact that it is a fairly significant event.

I decided, right back in 2004, that I was done with office politics, the career long haul. I was extremely lucky when I started work to get a fantastic bunch of colleagues, and a good working environment. Challenges were there, but so was the comradery. Out-sourcing, mergers, and life changed things over time, and eventually I just had to accept that those times were over.

I moved around a bit in the organisation, looking for the right dynamics, the right team. I couldn't find it. I found what most people complain about when they whinge about work. I found a bunch of people who happened to share a job. Having come from an environment where colleagues became friends, this was something of a shock!

I also found office politics. People out entirely for their benefit. I'd come from somewhere where people moved up and around because of an open desire to do so, and their proven ability. The idea of fighting for position by putting your colleagues down was one I still can't understand today. Those people you push away today are the ones you need to support you tomorrow. One upmanship is, in my view, the reason most people don't have the working environment they should have.

So, thanks to some spectacular mis-management, and general dis-gruntledness with office politics. I left. I went contacting. The life of the constant visitor. I could turn up, do the job, not become a threat, and therefore not be affected by the background noise that blights the office environment. And now I've signed it away.

Have I rediscovered the good old days? No. However, I have discovered the next set of good days. Once again I have found people who will talk about their lives, share lunch, do favours. In time it may be as good as my early working days. It won't be the same, but it should be good.

It's still a significant event!
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How life changes

I often find myself contemplating the huge changes that have taken place in my life. Seemingly simple things at the time compound each other, so that looking back on the course of things I often wonder how I managed to cope.

A simple 5 years ago I was about to turn 26. Life was good, if a little predictable. I had my job, my house, my friends and my routine. Ok, so I was pulling massive amounts of overtime, coping with huge amounts of stress (I thought!), and falling into a comfortable rut, but I was happy.

Within a year I had changed job within the organisation, moved 200 miles, and was living in rented accomodation with a new set of friends, a new predictable routine, and the ability to go back home and find most of my old rut waiting for me.

3 months later I had ditched it all. Thanks to some spectacular mis-management I decided to go contracting. This co-incided with some changes around my friends lives which dissapated my comfortable cushions and forced me to strike out afresh.

I moved to a new city, set myself up in a shared house with a bunch of strangers, and started working as an infrastructure architect to a group of developers. I'd always previously worked with other techies. This was very different. This was fun.

3 years ago at this time I was engaged. That's what leaving your comfort zone does for you! I was also in the process of moving again. This time about 450 miles to yet another city (a BIG one this time), a new contract, and a new set of challenges.

Just 2 years ago I was a few weeks away from being married, we'd moved again (our last for a while I hope), I'd changed job again (the life of a contractor!), and we were slowly establishing a cushion of our own. One that has a bit more permenance about it.

(You never realise when you're living in it, but the warm envelope of familiarity we wrap ourselves in is made up of so many elements we have no control over.)

Just last year, my daughter was less then 2 months old, I had changed job yet again, and life was chaos! Comfortable familiarity and predictable routine? With a baby? Not a chance! I'd love to say life was fantastic, but at that point, life was lived (although some days, life was survived!). I was certainly happy somewhere underneath it all though.

So, here we are, today. I haven't moved, I haven't changed job (although I am about to go permanent which is yet another huge change that seems small and logical at the moment), but life has changed yet again. My daughter changes every week. There is always a new discovery, a new facial expression, a new noise. Some predictability has returned; the morning and evening commutes anchor my day. My family is there to return to, my safe, warm cushion. And I'm certainly happy. Which is all that matters really.

So, that was 5 years. As I lived it, it was just life. Looking back, however, what a huge change! Here's to the next 5!
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On changing times

When I started this blog, it was only because I wanted somewhere to say how bad I thought the new microsoft search was. It was then somewhere it could talk about google calendar, and then other facets of my technological life.

Things have changed. Not that anyone reads this, but you may have noticed a lack of entries recently! This is because I don't have anything special to write about. I have changed tack. I no longer work in a purely technical environment, and I no longer have time for cutting edge technology. I haven't bothered to install Vista since RC2, the first MS OS that I haven't been completely up to date with since windows 3.0.

I may run kubuntu at home as my main system, but everything is installed via apt, and the system is now about the work it can do, not the shiny technology. I first installed Linux in 1995 (ish) and at that time I compiled a new kernel almost every week (day!), built all the apps from source code, completely tailored the system. Apart from providing a platform to write code, the system was a learning tool. Now, the work is the important thing, the OS and window manager are just the means.

So, what does this mean? Basically, I'm getting old! I still read slashdot, I still look at the shiny, but it doesn't consume me the way it used to. The man who queued up at midnight to get an x-box is only just about to get a wii! I still don't own an HD TV, and I have sat out the HD-DVD / Blueray wars safe in the knowledge that I don't care.

So, the blog has to change, if I don't write, what's the point in having somewhere to write? If tech doesn't give me something else has to. I commute for 3.5 hours a day, and whilst I spend some of that time reading RSS feeds, the rest of it is wasted doing sudoku puzzles that I always complete. Hardly a challenge. So, the plan is to drop the sudoku, and pick up the writing. Topics are, well, anything really. Whatever is on my mind. I'll see where this gets me.

If anyone is still there, thanks.
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